chycho

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Some Advice to Those Who Have Lost Loved Ones: Dealing with Death

Note: On 20 August 2009 I posted the following piece on my previous site. I decided to share a comment I had made on a thread that was started on askReddit. Considering recent events, I thought I’d share this again. Peace.

EDIT: I ended up uploading a video version of this post on August 26, 2016:

Video on BitChute

Audio on SoundCloud

Some Advice to Those Who Have Lost Loved Ones:
Dealing with Death

I had not planned on getting involved in the following discussion, however, a conversation was started online a few days ago which I felt inclined to participate in, and since my initial reply was well received, I thought it would be worthwhile floating the information here as well. Some of what I have posted were extremely hard-learned lessons and I hope the information finds its way to those who seek such advice.

The following question was posted on AskReddit:

My reply, which is by no means complete or absolute, follows:

Just so that you know where my reply is coming from. I have buried two brothers. One was 26 years old and the other 28. First one we lost when I was in my early 20’s and the second when I was in my mid 30’s. Both of them were completely different experiences. Both of them were devastating.

The following is the biggest mistake you can make, “Everything I hope to do from now on is to try and bring my parents the happiness of two sons.” If you try and do this you will make everyone miserable.

Your feelings/emotions will change with time, so embrace each stage completely. Do not try to run away from your responsibilities to your family but make sure that you also show your loved ones that you also share their pain. The worst thing you can do is to allow people to think that they are the only ones that hurt. That being said, no one will feel more pain than your parents, not even you.

One thing I use to say to people when they asked me what it was like to lose a family member was that, “it’s an experience that you would want your closest friends to know, but you would not wish it upon your worst enemies.” And I really meant this. I have learned to appreciate every moment of life, which is something that I rarely see in others. It took me a long time to get to this state but it is there when you are ready for it.

Life will always taste a little bitter from now on, and that’s not a bad thing. It’s just another flavour, a flavour which can make you appreciate all the beauty of life.

No one will understand how you feel. Your relationship with your brother and with your family is unique so don’t expect people to have answers for you.

Deal with what has happened to the best of your abilities and learn from your mistakes. Don’t expect to be good, right, perfect, etc. all the time … just do the best you can with what you know. Later you may wish you did something differently but always remember that you did the best with what you knew at the time.

Let loose when you need to, with friends or with strangers, but don’t wallow in your misery for too long. Just long enough to be exhausted. Then begin to build up your life again.

The best way to remember and live your life as if you have not lost a loved one is to take what they loved and incorporate it into your life. This is super important. If they loved to read, begin to read. If they loved sports, start playing sports. If they loved a certain type of music, start listening to it. Basically begin to incorporate the best of who they were into who you are. Forget about what you disliked about them.

Don’t forget to cry with joy. There will come a time when you will yearn for the times that you would shed tears for them for hours. Hold on to that feeling and figure out how to tap into it. It will bring you joy in the future.

Let your parents be as miserable as they want to be, or pretend that everything is okay.

Your parents, and you, will most likely begin to become partially self-destructive. It’s okay to do this, just make sure you do not let it destroy you or your parents.

Many families split up after there is a death in the family. If your parents want to divorce, support them. Help them to transition into their new life. Remember, divorce does not mean the end of family.

As you should be aware by now, nothing material matters, except for those little trinkets that remind you of your brother. Make sure they become part of you.

You will build amazing friendships over the next few years and lose some close friends. This is a good thing.

Do not live your life for anyone else other than yourself. This will make your parents happy and will hopefully provide them a good example to follow. Of course they may be doing the same thing for you. This being said, there is nothing more important than family so make sure you are there for them when you are needed.

It will take a while, years, until you fully digest what has happened. Savour those years.

As far as I see things, there is no such thing as death.

I read some of the comments and I think you are doing the right thing. Keep your shit together and make sure everything is taken care of for the next few weeks. It’s important that your parents do not have to worry about technicalities so make sure all phone calls are made and all the paper work is done. You’ll have plenty of time to mourn and reflect… years.

Try to refrain from making too many permanent decisions for a while.

And some additional sound advice shared by someone who has felt this pain:

"The only thing I can add to your advice is to get help. therapy, grief group, some sort of support that is not your immediate family... So the advice I would add is to talk with someone who knows or can understand your pain without personally knowing your loved one. It gives you a freedom to let your pain out so you can heal. Even a group grief session once or twice can help."

Monday, January 14, 2013

Aaron Swartz, America’s Mohamed Bouazizi: We’re in the midst of a revolution, which side are you on?

The United States is ripe for a revolution. People are pissed, and rightfully so. The only question that remains is if the restructuring will be peaceful, like what we saw happen in Iceland, or will it be violent, like what we see happening in Greece and Spain.

As Chris Hedges has implied on multiple occasions, the revolution is well on its way:

“I have seen my share of revolts, insurgencies and revolutions, from the guerrilla conflicts in the 1980s in Central America to the civil wars in Algeria, the Sudan and Yemen, to the Palestinian uprising to the revolutions in East Germany, Czechoslovakia and Romania as well as the wars in the former Yugoslavia. George Orwell wrote that all tyrannies rule through fraud and force, but that once the fraud is exposed they must rely exclusively on force. We have now entered the era of naked force. The vast million-person bureaucracy of the internal security and surveillance state will not be used to stop terrorism but to try and stop us.”

“All of that has been used to essentially, in this reconfiguration of American society… into an oligarchic state, a neofeudalistic state—you criminalize dissent, because they know very well what’s coming, as they reduce roughly two-thirds of this country to subsistence level.”

Chris Hedges: "America is a Tinderbox"

Full episode list of “Reality Asserts Itself - Chris Hedges”

The most revealing feature of our current economic and political model that points to a systematic failure is how the banks have been able to commit and profit from the most heinous crimes without being held accountable, while individuals have been relentlessly hounded for the most minor of infractions. Our society is full of such stories, from banks getting a slap on the wrist for laundering money for drug lords and terrorists while quadriplegics are arrested for smoking a joint and left to suffocate and die in prison, to our leaders having private hit lists and rebranding civilians as combatants and terrorists while peaceful civilians are incarcerated without being charged for any crime just because they refuse to take part in a witch-hunt.

Our current economic and political system is a joke and the latest victim of this corrupt system is Aaron Swartz. What Aaron accomplished by the time of his death at the tender age of 26 was astonishing, and the events that led to his final decision to take his own life will make your blood boil. The following two videos provide detailed information on what took place and who Aaron was. Keep this information in mind because the story of Aaron Swartz is very similar to that of Mohamed Bouazizi, the catalyst the gave birth to the Arab Spring.

"An Incredible Soul": Lawrence Lessig Remembers Aaron Swartz After Leading Cyberactivist’s Suicide

F2C2012: Aaron Swartz keynote - "How we stopped SOPA"

Friday, January 11, 2013

Free two hour math class on January 19 in Vancouver - theme of the day will be to find out why we factor (UPDATE - Class cancelled)

Update: Unfortunately registration for the class was low and the organizers, with my blessing of course, have decided to cancel the class and plan to reschedule it in February or March, possibly during a weekday evening time-slot. We believe that perhaps the class would garner more interest once Trade School Vancouver has a dedicated group of followers. My apologies to the three people who had registered, I will do my best to make sure the class happens on a future date.

Peace,

chycho

I’ll be teaching a two hour class through Trade School Vancouver on Saturday January 19 from 11:00am to 1:00pm at The Network Hub on 422 Richards Street, Vancouver.

The school is set up as a barter system, “pay for class with barter items and services, not money,” and for my class all you need to do is to tell me that you love math. So if you sign up, come up to me and tell me, “I Love Math!”, and I will teach you the reason why we factor and how factoring is relevant in our lives.

Topics covered will include; the Real Number Set, Prime Numbers, Functions, Graphs, Polynomials, Factoring, and Ratios, as well as basic topics requested by students.

In the next week or so I’ll be working on putting together the course material and once completed I’ll provide the information here as well. You can sign up at the Trade School Vancouver site. Bring some paper and a couple of pens, and I’ll do my best to show you the power of mathematics.

The following video explains what Trade School Vancouver is all about. Hope to see you there.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Lest we forget, an attack on Syria is an attack on Iran and a threat to the Shanghai Cooperation Organization

United States involvement in Syria has nothing to do with a repressive regime. After all, in 2002 the United States willingly used Assad’s regime to torture Maher Arar, a Canadian citizen, when they renditioned him to Syria from New York. The world was also quite grateful to Syria for accepting 1.5 million refugees created by the US invasion of Iraq, especially considering that for approximately the same period the United States had only accepted 7,000 Iraqi refugees. What’s happening in Syria is part of a bigger picture, a grand chessboard if you’d like, and what’s happening there is definitely not the end game.

Irrelevant if Assad stays in power or the rebels take control, what’s important to know about Syria is that an attack on Syria is an attack on Iran and a threat to the Shanghai Cooperation Organization (SCO) - a mutual security organization founded in 2001, which “includes not only the two giants Russia and China, but also the energy-rich Central Asian states Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan and Tajikistan.”

In 2006 Syria signed a defense agreement with Iran. With this agreement Iran "considers Syria's security its own security," and its defense capabilities to be those of Syria. This means that an attack on Syria is an attack on Iran, and Iran is a much more formidable foe than Syria. Not because of Iran’s military capabilities but because of its diplomatic ties to the regional countries.

Not only has Iran signed a declaration with Caspian Sea leaders in which all parties have agreed “to reinforce peace, stability, economic development, and good neighborliness in the region,” Iran is also an observer state in the SCO.

Enlarge - Source

If the United States attacks Syria, which it has threatened to do, it will force it into a military confrontation with Iran. If this occurs, it is very unlikely that the SCO, especially the two most influential members Russia and energy strapped China, will stand idly by.

Direct Western intervention in Syria or a war with Iran will be catastrophes on their own, but they could also trigger a confrontation between NATO and the SCO. Not a good scenario any way you look at it.

Update:

August 27, 2013: American forces ready to strike Syria if ordered, U.S. defence secretary says
July 12, 2013: Who is the US arming in Syria? President Assad rubs his hands at news of rebel split
June 16, 2013: Russia, US heading for confrontation over Syria - "Moscow has announced the dispatch to Syria of two warships carrying 600 Russian marines. They were being sent to Syria, "to protect the Russian citizens there", said an official statement."
June 16, 2013: Iran to send 4,000 troops to aid President Assad forces in Syria
June 13, 2013: United States officially enters the war in Syria - "The president has made a decision about providing more support to the opposition that will involve providing direct support to the [Supreme Military Council]. That includes military support."
June 5, 2013: As U.S. Deploys Patriot Missiles and F-16s to Jordan, Could Syrian Conflict Engulf the Middle East?
May 28, 2013: Russia Says End of European Arms Embargo on Syria Harms Hopes for Talks

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Video highlights from the last two weeks: Strain Hunters, J. T. Gatto, Alexander Bard, Democracy Now, Devin Fidler, and Richard Hamming

For the last two weeks I’ve been super busy with a move, hence the lack of posts. I have, however, still been in information consumption mode and come across some gems that are definitely worth sharing. Below you will find some video highlights for this period. I’ll be back to full blogging mode once I get settled into the new space.

Strain Hunters Morocco Expedition by Green House Seed Co

“The large majority of the hashish produced worldwide (up to 70% of the total annual world production) comes from a relatively small mountain region in the North of Morocco, called Rif… we witnessed how the farming cycle linked to hashish production is integrant part of the rural lifestyle of the Berbers, and how it dictates the rhythm of life and the rhytm of work.”

J. T. Gatto interviewed by Lennart Mogren, Sweden, March 2003 (difference between schooling and education)

“John Taylor Gatto is a retired American school teacher with nearly 30 years experience in the classroom, and author of several books on education. He is an activist critical of compulsory schooling, of the perceived divide between the teen years and adulthood, and of what he characterizes as the hegemonic nature of discourse on education and the education professions.” His book, The Underground History of American Education is available online (summary found here).

Alexander Bard - CPEU2 - Futurica Trilogy

“Bard has written three books on the internet revolution, collectively known as The Futurica Trilogy, together with media theorist Jan Söderqvist. Their first collaboration The Netocrats was originally released in Swedish in 2000, became available in English in 2003, and has since been translated to a further 16 languages with total worldwide sales exceeding 340,000 copies. The second book The Global Empire was originally released in Swedish in 2003, while the third installment of the trilogy The Body Machines was originally published in Swedish in 2009. These latter two works were released in English in 2012, completing The Futurica Trilogy, in which the authors present their philosophical vision for a global and increasingly virtual society, as a consequence of the interactive revolution.”

2012 Culture and Resistance with Alice Walker, Randy Weston, Walter Mosley, Gore Vidal and More

“Today we look at the nexus of politics and art, airing highlights of our cultural coverage from the past year featuring Alice Walker, Walter Mosley, Tony Kushner, Randy Weston, Steve Earle, Randall Robinson, Toshi Reagon, Tom Morello and others. We pay tribute to the late Adrienne Rich, Gore Vidal and Whitney Houston and mark the centennial of the birth of Woody Guthrie.”

Devin Fidler - Realigning Human Organization

“Devin Fidler, Research Director at the Institute for the Future, presents the Tech Horizon 2012 research report, Realigning Human Organization.”

Richard Hamming: "Learning to Learn"

(links to full playlist, 32 videos) “The Art of Doing Science and Engineering: Learning to Learn" was the capstone course by Dr. Richard W. Hamming (1915-1998) for graduate students at the Naval Postgraduate School (NPS) in Monterey, California.”